Why You Should Let Some Friendships Die

When You Should Let a Friendship Die

Making friends is hard. But maintaining those friendships can be even harder. So if one of your friendships fades away into nothing, don’t be ashamed. As you move through the different stages of your life, you’ll learn a hard lesson about your personal relationships: not all of them will go the distance. People say this all the time about romantic relationships, but it also applies to friendships.

You probably won’t be able to maintain all the friendships that you made in high school and college. And that’s actually a good thing! The friends you make can be indicative of where you are in your life. Just like you’ll outgrow staying at the bar until last call every night, you’ll outgrow some of the people in your life.

There may come a time when you will have to cull some of the dead weight from your life. It sounds cold – but think about it practically. You have a finite amount of energy that you allot for work, family, and your personal relationships. Your time and energy are precious. So it makes sense to examine your friendships and ask yourself: is this still worth the effort?

Is it still worth the effort to text or call someone when you know you won’t get a response? Is it worth the effort to reach out to someone and be ignored? Is it worth getting hurt? Is it worth being let down? It’s bad enough when you’re staring at your phone waiting for a response from a date; it’s even worse when you’re sitting there wondering why your friend won’t reply. Just like in a romantic relationship, it’s very possible to be friend-dumped. Both situations will leave you confused and heartbroken. But it’s not your fault.

But if you’re the person ignoring the calls and texts, you need to take a step back and think about what you’re doing. A little empathy goes a long way. Ask yourself how much it would hurt to be ignored by someone you cared about. The answer is a lot – so why would you do it someone else? Is there an underlying issue, a reason that you don’t want to see this person? Once you figure it out, you’ll have to make a choice: do you want to keep this relationship, or do you want out? If you want out, be upfront about it – to yourself and your friend.

Tell your friend that you’ve grown apart, and that you enjoyed all the good times, but it’s now time for you to part ways. When you break up, be gentle and tactful. The person being dumped will still likely be hurt – but try to minimize the collateral damage.

Letting a friendship go does not mean that you didn’t try and fight for it. All that it means is that you’re two people who clicked at a certain point in your lives. But people change, for better or for worse. And if you’ve lost a friend it’s probably because both of you have changed in ways that mean you’re no longer compatible.

It’s a grim prospect to consider. But you can’t call someone your best friend if you don’t talk anymore. You earn the title of being someone’s friend. It’s not something you can have for free. Your friends prove that they’re worthy of your time and energy by investing time and energy in you. And you gladly do the same for them.

Any one-sided relationship just isn’t sustainable. So if you have a friendship like that, it’s time to let go.

Enjoyed this? Check out The Danger of Seeking Too Many Opinions!

Written by Roselyn Sebastian

Making friends is hard. But maintaining those friendships can be even harder. So if one of your friendships fades away into nothing, don’t be ashamed. As you move through the different stages of your life, you’ll learn a hard lesson about your personal relationships: not all of them will go the distance. People say this all the time about romantic relationships, but it also applies to friendships.

You probably won’t be able to maintain all the friendships that you made in high school and college. And that’s actually a good thing! The friends you make can be indicative of where you are in your life. Just like you’ll outgrow staying at the bar until last call every night, you’ll outgrow some of the people in your life.

There may come a time when you will have to cull some of the dead weight from your life. It sounds cold – but think about it practically. You have a finite amount of energy that you allot for work, family, and your personal relationships. Your time and energy are precious. So it makes sense to examine your friendships and ask yourself: is this still worth the effort?

Is it still worth the effort to text or call someone when you know you won’t get a response? Is it worth the effort to reach out to someone and be ignored? Is it worth getting hurt? Is it worth being let down? It’s bad enough when you’re staring at your phone waiting for a response from a date; it’s even worse when you’re sitting there wondering why your friend won’t reply. Just like in a romantic relationship, it’s very possible to be friend-dumped. Both situations will leave you confused and heartbroken. But it’s not your fault.

But if you’re the person ignoring the calls and texts, you need to take a step back and think about what you’re doing. A little empathy goes a long way. Ask yourself how much it would hurt to be ignored by someone you cared about. The answer is a lot – so why would you do it someone else? Is there an underlying issue, a reason that you don’t want to see this person? Once you figure it out, you’ll have to make a choice: do you want to keep this relationship, or do you want out? If you want out, be upfront about it – to yourself and your friend.

Tell your friend that you’ve grown apart, and that you enjoyed all the good times, but it’s now time for you to part ways. When you break up, be gentle and tactful. The person being dumped will still likely be hurt – but try to minimize the collateral damage.

Letting a friendship go does not mean that you didn’t try and fight for it. All that it means is that you’re two people who clicked at a certain point in your lives. But people change, for better or for worse. And if you’ve lost a friend it’s probably because both of you have changed in ways that mean you’re no longer compatible.

It’s a grim prospect to consider. But you can’t call someone your best friend if you don’t talk anymore. You earn the title of being someone’s friend. It’s not something you can have for free. Your friends prove that they’re worthy of your time and energy by investing time and energy in you. And you gladly do the same for them.

Any one-sided relationship just isn’t sustainable. So if you have a friendship like that, it’s time to let go.

Enjoyed this? Check out The Danger of Seeking Too Many Opinions!

Written by Roselyn Sebastian

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