Why Long-Distance Relationships Never Work Out

Even if you never thought you would, you might find yourself in a long-distance relationship at some point in your life. Maybe your girlfriend had to take a job in another city. Or maybe you’re going away to grad school. Whatever the reason, long distance is stressful.

And unfortunately, it’s often not worth it in the end. Here’s why I don’t think long-distance relationships ever work out.

I know it sounds like I’m being needlessly maudlin – but look at it from a practical perspective. Sometimes it’s a hassle to see your significant other when you live in the same city. Work, family, and friends can keep someone pretty busy. But that hassle is more than just annoying when you live in different cities.

What if you’re having a bad day and you just want to see your partner? A laptop screen is nowhere near as comforting as a hug. Social media and technology and smartphones keep us more connected than any other generation. But there comes a point when a text just isn’t enough.

Skype can’t replace the feeling of holding someone’s hand in yours. It’s sad but true: a long-distance relationship isn’t sustainable. Any couple can suffer through a few months of video chatting and emailing… if you know there’s an end in sight. But a relationship that is going to be long distance indefinitely is doomed.

The physical distance in your relationship can create emotional distance as well. Feeling distant from someone – especially someone you love – isn’t a foundation you can build a strong relationship on. If you can’t physically be with someone whenever you want, it’s hard to consider that a relationship.

I also hate to say it, but I’d be remiss if I didn’t bring up infidelity in long-distance relationships. If you’re with someone who lives in another city or state, the temptation to cheat becomes harder and harder to resist. It doesn’t make you a bad person; it’s just a fact. People don’t enjoy being lonely. And when push comes to shove, you don’t make the smartest decisions when you’re emotionally vulnerable. So you might have a one-night stand with someone you don’t even care about.

Even if you both remain faithful, the fact that you can’t see each other can make even the sanest person paranoid. It’s not anyone’s fault, but sometimes you get a thought stuck in your head that you just can’t shake. And even if your partner talks to you every second of the day, you could still have suspicions. And suspecting that your partner is cheating – whether it’s true or not – is enough to break any couple up.

My advice to people who are in a long-distance relationship indefinitely is: be practical. You would never settle for a laptop screen when you walk down the aisle in lieu of a fresh and blood person. It may hurt at first, but you need someone who can show up for you when you call them.

Enjoyed this? Check out How to Forgive Your Parents!

Written by Roselyn Sebastian

 

Even if you never thought you would, you might find yourself in a long-distance relationship at some point in your life. Maybe your girlfriend had to take a job in another city. Or maybe you’re going away to grad school. Whatever the reason, long distance is stressful.

And unfortunately, it’s often not worth it in the end. Here’s why I don’t think long-distance relationships ever work out.

I know it sounds like I’m being needlessly maudlin – but look at it from a practical perspective. Sometimes it’s a hassle to see your significant other when you live in the same city. Work, family, and friends can keep someone pretty busy. But that hassle is more than just annoying when you live in different cities.

What if you’re having a bad day and you just want to see your partner? A laptop screen is nowhere near as comforting as a hug. Social media and technology and smartphones keep us more connected than any other generation. But there comes a point when a text just isn’t enough.

Skype can’t replace the feeling of holding someone’s hand in yours. It’s sad but true: a long-distance relationship isn’t sustainable. Any couple can suffer through a few months of video chatting and emailing… if you know there’s an end in sight. But a relationship that is going to be long distance indefinitely is doomed.

The physical distance in your relationship can create emotional distance as well. Feeling distant from someone – especially someone you love – isn’t a foundation you can build a strong relationship on. If you can’t physically be with someone whenever you want, it’s hard to consider that a relationship.

I also hate to say it, but I’d be remiss if I didn’t bring up infidelity in long-distance relationships. If you’re with someone who lives in another city or state, the temptation to cheat becomes harder and harder to resist. It doesn’t make you a bad person; it’s just a fact. People don’t enjoy being lonely. And when push comes to shove, you don’t make the smartest decisions when you’re emotionally vulnerable. So you might have a one-night stand with someone you don’t even care about.

Even if you both remain faithful, the fact that you can’t see each other can make even the sanest person paranoid. It’s not anyone’s fault, but sometimes you get a thought stuck in your head that you just can’t shake. And even if your partner talks to you every second of the day, you could still have suspicions. And suspecting that your partner is cheating – whether it’s true or not – is enough to break any couple up.

My advice to people who are in a long-distance relationship indefinitely is: be practical. You would never settle for a laptop screen when you walk down the aisle in lieu of a fresh and blood person. It may hurt at first, but you need someone who can show up for you when you call them.

Enjoyed this? Check out How to Forgive Your Parents!

Written by Roselyn Sebastian

 

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