Emily Morse’s 5 Sex Tips for Women

In the past 2 weeks, real-life superhero and sexologist Emily Morse has taught us how anyone can be a sexual superhero and she’s given us the best sex tips for men. This week, she shows us what women can do to be masters in the bedroom.

1. Know your own body.

Everybody should know how to give themselves an orgasm. While that tends to be pretty easy for guys, it’s especially important for a woman to understand what gives her pleasure so she can take control of her own sexuality. Just 30% of women can have orgasms during intercourse, and too many women assume it’s never going to happen for them. But that’s not the case.

“We have so many erogenous zones on our body, and oftentimes we just rely on sex or intercourse or someone else to figure it out,” said Emily. “But [we have to] spend time alone figuring it out.”

And it can take commitment. In fact, one college friend of Emily’s spent 30 days masturbating every night trying to orgasm – and didn’t succeed until week 3.

“It takes time to understand yourself,” Emily said. “Your body is always changing. And just because you can’t orgasm one way doesn’t mean there aren’t ways. A lot of that comes through masturbation, experimenting with your hands or with toys or pornography, or reading something that turns you on so you can really become masterful at sex.”

2. Be comfortable in your body.

According to Emily, one of the biggest killers of women’s sex drive is a lack of body confidence. That can be helped before having sex by taking care of your body through proper diet and exercise – although Emily urges women to acknowledge that everybody is built differently.

But what if you’re concerned in the moment? Wondering if he’s noticing your thighs, or that your breasts are different sizes?

“I’m just here to say that if he’s in bed with you, and he’s having sex with you, he’s attracted to you,” Emily says. “You guys are naked together in a room. Everything’s fine. So get out of your head and just go back to being that confident woman.”

Of course, that can be easier said than done – which is why #1 is so important.

“It takes time…to know that you’re fine and that you’re a sexual being and that you’re attractive,” Emily admits. “And believe me, the more you believe that about yourself, others will too.”

3. Be aware of what you can handle sexually.

Some women are able to have one-night stands and don’t mind if the partner never calls. But Emily warns that many women think they can, but in fact the practice isn’t great for their emotional well being. Some women have sex to feel validated in the moment, but it becomes a vicious cycle because their self-esteem is damaged when their partner doesn’t call the next day.

“I think that women have to be really aware about what they can handle,” Emily says.

“What works for their friends might not work for them,” she adds. “So it’s really taking a personal inventory on yourself and what you’re ready for.”

Another thing women should watch out for? The amount of alcohol they have on dates, since drinking might make you say ‘yes’ where you would have said ‘no’ earlier in the night.

“Have a handle on that,” Emily advises. “Have your faculties about you so you can make better choices.”

4. Say no to fake Os.

It’s easier just to fake an orgasm, right? Absolutely not! Emily feels so strongly about this that she’d put ‘Say No to Fake O’ on the ballot if she could.

“The only thing that happens when you’re faking an orgasm is that you’re sending a mixed message to your partner,” Emily says. “He’s thinking he’s the king of the world because you’re having an orgasm – and yet you’re not having any pleasure.”

In fact, one reason many women can’t orgasm during intercourse is because most sex positions don’t allow for enough clitoral stimulation. So don’t be afraid to use lubricants or your hands or add a clitoral sex toy.

“Really, it’s just saying, you know what? I’m not getting there and being honest about it.”

5. Orgasms aren’t the goal of sex.

Much of Emily’s previous advice has focused on how you can have better orgasms. But you shouldn’t feel bad if you’re not there yet.

“Orgasms do not have to be the goal of sex,” Emily says.

You should keep experimenting on yourself and with others until you reach that goal. But don’t feel like you shouldn’t be enjoying sex just because you don’t have an orgasm. Sex has a host of other benefits, from providing exercise to connecting with your partner.

That said, don’t use this as an excuse to stop trying altogether.

“The women who derive the most pleasure from sex are the ones who really are the masters of their own body and the masters of their own sexuality,” Emily says.

As long as you’re on that journey, it’s OK if you haven’t reached the peak yet.

Want more from Emily? Find her here, then let us know what you thought in the comments, on Facebook or Tweet us @SuperheroYou. Don’t forget to check back next week for sex tips for women!

Written by Sasha Graffagna 

Image Courtesy of Emily Morse

In the past 2 weeks, real-life superhero and sexologist Emily Morse has taught us how anyone can be a sexual superhero and she’s given us the best sex tips for men. This week, she shows us what women can do to be masters in the bedroom.

1. Know your own body.

Everybody should know how to give themselves an orgasm. While that tends to be pretty easy for guys, it’s especially important for a woman to understand what gives her pleasure so she can take control of her own sexuality. Just 30% of women can have orgasms during intercourse, and too many women assume it’s never going to happen for them. But that’s not the case.

“We have so many erogenous zones on our body, and oftentimes we just rely on sex or intercourse or someone else to figure it out,” said Emily. “But [we have to] spend time alone figuring it out.”

And it can take commitment. In fact, one college friend of Emily’s spent 30 days masturbating every night trying to orgasm – and didn’t succeed until week 3.

“It takes time to understand yourself,” Emily said. “Your body is always changing. And just because you can’t orgasm one way doesn’t mean there aren’t ways. A lot of that comes through masturbation, experimenting with your hands or with toys or pornography, or reading something that turns you on so you can really become masterful at sex.”

2. Be comfortable in your body.

According to Emily, one of the biggest killers of women’s sex drive is a lack of body confidence. That can be helped before having sex by taking care of your body through proper diet and exercise – although Emily urges women to acknowledge that everybody is built differently.

But what if you’re concerned in the moment? Wondering if he’s noticing your thighs, or that your breasts are different sizes?

“I’m just here to say that if he’s in bed with you, and he’s having sex with you, he’s attracted to you,” Emily says. “You guys are naked together in a room. Everything’s fine. So get out of your head and just go back to being that confident woman.”

Of course, that can be easier said than done – which is why #1 is so important.

“It takes time…to know that you’re fine and that you’re a sexual being and that you’re attractive,” Emily admits. “And believe me, the more you believe that about yourself, others will too.”

3. Be aware of what you can handle sexually.

Some women are able to have one-night stands and don’t mind if the partner never calls. But Emily warns that many women think they can, but in fact the practice isn’t great for their emotional well being. Some women have sex to feel validated in the moment, but it becomes a vicious cycle because their self-esteem is damaged when their partner doesn’t call the next day.

“I think that women have to be really aware about what they can handle,” Emily says.

“What works for their friends might not work for them,” she adds. “So it’s really taking a personal inventory on yourself and what you’re ready for.”

Another thing women should watch out for? The amount of alcohol they have on dates, since drinking might make you say ‘yes’ where you would have said ‘no’ earlier in the night.

“Have a handle on that,” Emily advises. “Have your faculties about you so you can make better choices.”

4. Say no to fake Os.

It’s easier just to fake an orgasm, right? Absolutely not! Emily feels so strongly about this that she’d put ‘Say No to Fake O’ on the ballot if she could.

“The only thing that happens when you’re faking an orgasm is that you’re sending a mixed message to your partner,” Emily says. “He’s thinking he’s the king of the world because you’re having an orgasm – and yet you’re not having any pleasure.”

In fact, one reason many women can’t orgasm during intercourse is because most sex positions don’t allow for enough clitoral stimulation. So don’t be afraid to use lubricants or your hands or add a clitoral sex toy.

“Really, it’s just saying, you know what? I’m not getting there and being honest about it.”

5. Orgasms aren’t the goal of sex.

Much of Emily’s previous advice has focused on how you can have better orgasms. But you shouldn’t feel bad if you’re not there yet.

“Orgasms do not have to be the goal of sex,” Emily says.

You should keep experimenting on yourself and with others until you reach that goal. But don’t feel like you shouldn’t be enjoying sex just because you don’t have an orgasm. Sex has a host of other benefits, from providing exercise to connecting with your partner.

That said, don’t use this as an excuse to stop trying altogether.

“The women who derive the most pleasure from sex are the ones who really are the masters of their own body and the masters of their own sexuality,” Emily says.

As long as you’re on that journey, it’s OK if you haven’t reached the peak yet.

Want more from Emily? Find her here, then let us know what you thought in the comments, on Facebook or Tweet us @SuperheroYou. Don’t forget to check back next week for sex tips for women!

Written by Sasha Graffagna 

Image Courtesy of Emily Morse

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